The Look

Zarate Family 1327Gentlemen, if you’ve been married any length of time, you have undoubtedly received, “the look.” When you tracked mud all through the house. When you missed the hamper. The time you brought more people home for Sunday dinner than expected. That year you “accidentally” forgot a birthday or anniversary (I know, that never happens). That moment you decided to answer the question, “does this dress make me look fat?” Your wife’s steely gaze bores a hole deep in your soul. Flattery won’t save you now, so simply ‘fess up!

Children, too, can tell stories of how their parents‘ “look” either kept them out of trouble or clearly confirmed that they were in pure peril. The look was interpreted as “I’ll deal with you when we get home,” “Wait until your dad gets here,” “Stop playing and come over here, now,” or my all-time favorite, “I’m trying to channel Superman, using heat vision to get your attention!” Ah, the look.

As a teenager, when I didn’t want to receive “the look,” I went to my room or walked away. When husbands and wives are frustrated with each other and don’t wish to look at each other, they remove themselves from the situation, which isn’t always a bad thing.

But for all the negativity behind what we have defined as “the look,” there are good looks we get from time to time. That quiet moment when you gaze into each others eyes when you wake up together in the morning. When a situation reminds you of an inside joke. That time when fear would’ve gripped your heart, were it not for the securing stare of your spouse.

As a child, I remember those “approving looks.” I remember my mom’s eyes when she baked me my favorite homemade chocolate cake. I remember making a game-winning shot for my basketball team and while the crowd went wild, my eyes met my Dad’s. He wasn’t clapping and yelling like everyone else. He simply looked at me, winked, and nodded his head. On July 1, 2000, when Pastor David Teis proclaimed, “I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Juan Zarate,” I remember my Dad proudly looking at me, as if to say, “well done.”

Again, unless I found myself in close proximity to my parents, I would’ve missed out on some of the most precious memories of my life. Imagine the moments you could’ve missed if you weren’t close to your spouse. Closeness allows us to enjoy and continue to take these snapshots in life.

In Psalm 32:8-9, God tells David:

I will guide thee with mine eyes. Be ye not as the horse or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.

I was playing with Anabelle one time and somehow, as we were wrestling, she took her index finger and like a fishhook, placed it on the side of my mouth and began to pull. That was not a pleasant experience!

Likewise, God doesn’t desire to lead us with a bit and bridle. He wants to simply give us “the look” (I will guide thee with mine eyes) and if we’re close enough to Him, we should know what each look means.

The Cautioning Look we get when we’re about to cross the line and commit sin. This could also be called a “convicting look.”

The Calming Look we crave when fear or even failure rocks our life. This look tells me that my sufficiency is in Christ and that I need nothing else.

The Complimenting Look we receive when we’ve followed the leading of the Spirit, knowing that we’ve accomplished something for God and brought Him glory through it.

There’s no shortcut to knowing “the look.” As the relationship grows, the familiarity does as well. Take the time each day to deepen your relationships to enjoy “the look.”


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