Is your marriage perfect all the time? Do you and your spouse agree on everything? Does the flame of passion burn, unquenched and unhindered, all the time? If so, stop reading and confess your sin! No marriage, regardless of how long it has existed, is perfect. Why? Because marriage is the union of two imperfect persons! Translation: we’re selfish sinners that need the Spirit to guide us every moment in our life and marriage. The sooner we accept that we cannot manufacture the perfect marriage and seek the help of God, the sooner we’ll find ourselves on the way to a God-blessed lifetime together.
Because our selfish nature can rear its ugly head from time to time, there are moments and at sometimes periods in our marriage that need a little reviving. Sometimes, we just get busy with life and because of it, the romance in our marriage suffers. How can we revive the romance in our marriages?
Realize – it’s a Process!
I was asking an elderly man once who has been married for over 50 years to give me his best marriage advice. He said, “Cooking up a good marriage requires a meat smoker, not a microwave.” He’s right!
In this technological age, we have been duped into thinking that everything can be made quickly! Your dinner is just a couple of minutes in the microwave away. Your email can be received and responded to instantly. Hours long surgeries and the recovery from it now take less time. Even plants can receive Miracle-Gro and fractionally cut the growing process. And this way of thinking has crept into what we view as marriage growth. Some couples honestly and sincerely believe that a touch of a button, a date night, or one gift on one day will guarantee a magical marriage!
Recognize – it’s Personal!
Have you fallen into the trap of simply “copying” what someone else did? Though godly men and women may share what they did with their spouses, it doesn’t mean your spouse will enjoy or appreciate the same things.
Gentlemen, learn more about your wife. Ladies, learn more about your husband. Poultry seasoning on beef doesn’t taste as well; neither does someone else’s preference suit your spouse.
Though the principles shared by those who write, preach, or teach about marriage can be similar (myself included), the application of these principles will be different.
Don’t just look at a list of suggestions and blindly check things off. Do the things your spouse loves and watch the passion come back into your marriage.
Remember – it’s a Priority!
When I get busy in ministry and fail at romancing my wife, she never comes up and asks, “Do you still love me?”
Make no mistake, I’m an idiot when I don’t passionately engage my wife but my lack of time with her doesn’t signal my lack of love for her. Honestly, sometimes I just misplace my priorities. Ever been there?
Matthew 6:33 tells us to “seek first the kingdom of God.” There are many who I believe, love God, but instead of seeking Him first, they seek Him 3rd or 7th. We can do the same thing in our marriage! A first-class marriage will require first-class attention.
Romance doesn’t have to die! The fire just needs to be stoked and before you know it, you’re acting like newlyweds again. Try it now!